The Cullens Meet The Bradys
by jsprosa
Summary: After leaving Forks, the Cullens relocate to Pasadena. They are welcomed to their new neighborhood by the fun-loving family on the block. A Twilight/Brady Bunch crossover. Note: The continuity follows that of the Brady Bunch Movie, not the TV show.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Twilight or The Brady Bunch (show or movie). They are owned by their respective companies. (Please read and review this work afterwards)**

**The Cullens Meet The Bradys**

_Place: 4230 Clinton Way, Pasadena, California. Year: 2008_

It was eight o'clock in the early evening of a warm summer day in southern California. The big rush hour backup on the 210 freeway, the main interstate that cut through the Los Angeles suburb of Pasadena, had pretty much given way to smooth-flowing traffic as commuters rushed home to be with their families and have their suppers. Being a typical, large American suburb, not too much happened in Pasadena, except for most residents going back and forth between their jobs and many soccer moms shuttling their children back and forth between school, athletic events and a host of other activities.

Meanwhile, on a quiet street called Clinton Way, a new family was moving into the spacious ranch house formerly owned by the Bellfield family. They preferred moving their furniture and belongings into their home during the evening, such as this one, in the hope that nobody would notice them. That was just the way they operated.

The Cullen family had left behind their previous hometown of Forks, Washington, after a tragic event that forced them to leave the rainy Pacific Northwest for good. Just a few weeks before, Edward and his family had given Bella a party to celebrate her 18th birthday. Unfortunately, during the opening of presents Bella had sustained a paper cut, causing Jasper to attack her due to the scent of her blood. In order to protect her, it was decided that Edward and the rest of the Cullen clan would move away from Forks. Now here they were, in sunny southern California, trying to adjust to their new environment.

"Carlisle, dear," Esme Cullen called to her husband, "I just love this house! It's a little new for my tastes, yet for some reason it has this vintage appeal to me. I want to treat it to a restoration very soon."

"Come now, Esme," said Dr. Carlisle Cullen. "We're not even settled in. We just have to give ourselves a little time, and get to know a few people. Then we'll decide what the house needs. At least it's got a swimming pool. That's interesting!"

Just then, Rosalie bounded in through the front door. Rosalie was the adopted daughter of Carlisle and Esme. She was very beautiful, with wavy blonde hair and having the figure of a statue. Rosalie had a look of concern on her face as she walked into the den.

"You won't believe who I just met!" she exclaimed.

"What happened?" asked Esme excitedly.

"There's a family who lives two houses down from us," explained Rosalie. "I just met one of the kids, and she seemed very nice and welcoming. She is inviting us to come over for dinner sometime. But, needless to say, they're quite different, and, to tell you the truth, a little strange. Just look at her parents' cars!"

"Strange? How so?" Esme asked.

"Well," said Rosalie, "The girl invited me to come inside their house. It's kind of funky - there's shag carpeting all over and the entire place is draped in odd colors. It was a little surreal - kind of like being in Forks. But they seem to be harmless people, all right."

"Yeah?" said Carlisle. "What's their story?"

_Cut to the classic Brady Bunch theme song: "Here's the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls...all of them had hair of gold like their mother, the youngest one in curls...It's the story of a man named Brady who was busy with three boys of his own...they were four men living all together, yet they were all alone..."_

_Place: 4222 Clinton Way, Pasadena. Same evening. _

Two houses down from the Cullens' new home stood the Brady residence. Just looking at the outside made many a bystander believe that he or she was still living in the 1970s. In the driveway sat Carol Brady's big, chocolate brown 1979 Pontiac station wagon, and parked directly in front of it was her husband Mike's burgundy 1976 Cadillac convertible. Even Bobby and Cindy, the only two Brady kids still living at home, drove cars from the disco era: Bobby had a modified Pontiac Trans Am, while the more practical Cindy drove an equally ancient Saab sedan.

Inside the shag-carpeted house, complete with funky colors and an old-fashioned black-and-white television set in the living room, the Bradys were just completing a late dinner. Mike, now a senior partner at his architectural firm, had been working a lot on a big project that was set to begin construction in downtown Los Angeles. Carol was also working hard in her job as a real estate broker, selling many homes week after week, month after month. Bobby, soon to be a senior at San Diego State, was at home for the summer and was working as a parts runner at the local Chevrolet place. Cindy, the youngest Brady (and no longer in curls), had just completed her sophomore year at the University of Redlands, and also decided to spend the summer at home while holding down an internship at a local radio station. And Alice, the family's loyal housekeeper, still came over five nights a week to cook meals for the family and help out whenever she could. Greg, Marcia, Peter, and Jan all lived nearby and visited frequently.

"So, have you met the new family on the corner?" asked Cindy while devouring a spoonful of mashed potatoes into her mouth.

"What new family?" Bobby asked. "I didn't know we were getting new neighbors!"

"Well, isn't that wonderful!" exclaimed Carol. "I'd love to meet them sometime."

"Yup!" Cindy said. "One of the girls walked over before dinner and introduced herself to me while I was fixing my car. She said her name was Rosalie, and that her family has just moved here from Forks, Washington. I asked her if she liked working on old cars like I did. From the look on her face, I think she was telling me yes! I also noticed one other thing - as the sun was setting, I saw some people moving furniture and stuff into the house. Strange, isn't it?"

"Oh, Cindy, aren't you ever going to get rid of that Saab? You're always fixing something on that thing!" said Bobby. He knew that his youngest sister was proud of her car and would usually make fun of her for driving such a practical (but yet unreliable) vehicle.

"At least I'm not filling up my tank every three days like you are!" Cindy retorted to her younger brother, referring to his gas-guzzling Trans Am.

"Hold it, kids!" Mike interjected. "Now, Cindy, where did you say this new family came from?"

"Forks, Washington, Dad," said Cindy. "They moved into the old Bellfield place."

"I remember those Bellfields, all right," said Alice with a roll of her eyes. "Years ago, they wanted the kids to come over and swim in the buff! But, by golly, I wouldn't let them! Mr. Brady, you would've had a fit! I still maintain to this day, that Dr. Bellfield didn't have much of a practice if he and his family couldn't afford to pay for bathing suits. The nerve of those people!"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention," Cindy exclaimed. "Rosalie said her father was also a doctor. A general practitioner, I think."

"What?" sputtered Alice, nearly spitting out her water. "If they're going to invite us to use the pool in our birthday suits there's seriously something wrong with them! This new family is probably just as poor as the Bellfields!"

"One moment, Alice," said Mike. "Cindy, did this Rosalie say much about her family?"

"Well," said Cindy, "Besides her parents, she did say she has a sister and three brothers. It's kinda like our bunch, isn't it?"

"Sounds a lot like our bunch!" exclaimed Carol excitedly. "Mike, we really should have our new neighbors over!"

"Honey, I think you're right!" Mike said with a huge grin on his face. "We should have a welcoming party for the new family. This means we're going to have a celebration! I'll call Greg, Marcia, and the others to come over tomorrow evening. Would you like that?"

"All right, Dad!" Cindy and Bobby exclaimed together.

_The next evening, the entire Cullen family - Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper - is sitting inside the Bradys' garage, which has been set up as a makeshift soundstage. The Brady kids - Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby, and Cindy - are dressed to the hilt in ridiculous '70s-style disco outfits, ready to perform their musical act for their new neighbors. Cindy has even put her hair in pigtails for the occasion! While they are all smiles and eager to make some music, the Cullens appear rather bored and disinterested, yet the new family on the block tries to put on a brave face. _

"Mr. Brady," said Carlisle from his seat, "Esme and I, along with the rest of our family, really do appreciate you welcoming us into the neighborhood, but you all didn't have to do this. I mean, we're not really rock music fans."

"Oh, we'll do anything for any neighbor of ours!" said an excited Mike. "Look, Carol even made you cupcakes!"

"They're a popular snack in our household," said Carol. "You should try one! It's Marcia's and my secret recipe!"

"Oh, I really can't," Rosalie chimed in. "I just had a big dinner."

"Ah! Not to worry, guys!" Mike said. "We'll save them for after the show. So let's start the music. Without further ado, here are the Brady kids!"

And with that, Mike and Carol's bunch started banging on their instruments to produce what could be called, at best, tacky '70s music. Their selected tune went like this:

"I think I'll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun's callin' my name..." Jan intoned as she performed the lead-in to the song, called "It's A Sunshine Day." She had perhaps the sweetest voice of her siblings.

The rest of the bunch followed up with, "I hear ya now, I just can't stay inside all day....I gotta get out, get me some of those ray-ay-ays....Everybody's smilin', sunshine day....everybody's laughin', sunshine day....everybody seems so happy today....it's a sunshine day!"

Marcia was up next with her solo. Using her all-American good looks and charming country-style voice, she belted out: "I think I'll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun knows me by name...."

The Cullens, however, were not impressed. They continued to stare blankly at their new neighbors who were putting on this ridiculous show of poor talent in front of their eyes.

"That's gotta be the worst hairstyle I've ever seen in my life," whispered Alice Cullen to her brother Edward, referring to Cindy's pigtails.

"Tell me about it," Edward whispered back. "I never heard such annoying, nauseating music before. It's like these people live in another era."

"That's because they _are_ from another era," Rosalie replied with a sigh. She and the rest of her family couldn't understand how the kids' parents would let their children make fools of themselves in front of other people. As vampires, the Cullens were not allowed to expose their true identities to mere mortals.

"Esme," whispered Carlisle to his wife, "Do you think we made the right decision in moving to Pasadena?"

"Well, we could always move again if you'd like," Esme replied back. "But let's stick it out here for a while. Even if the Bradys are a little strange, they could provide us with a little entertainment here and there, you know what I mean?"

Carlisle smiled. He knew his wife would always help him in making the right decisions for their family.


End file.
